How to talk to kids about the issue of school shootings

It’s a conversation no parent ever wants to have, but one many families are facing: talking to kids about gun violence, especially in the context of school safety drills.

With active shooter drills now a routine part of school preparedness, children are exposed to the reality of threats, sometimes before they fully understand them.

While it’s heartbreaking, open and age-appropriate conversations can help children feel safer, more prepared and emotionally supported.

Start with Questions and Listen Closely

Every child is different, and their age, temperament and exposure to news or school discussions will shape how they understand gun violence. A good place to start is by asking what they know.

Try open-ended questions like: “What do you know about the drills at school?” or “Have you heard kids or teachers talk about scary things happening?” Listen carefully to what they say, and resist the urge to jump in with too much detail too quickly.

Younger children may need reassurance that the drills are like fire drills, a way to practice staying safe. Older kids and teens might have more complex fears or opinions. Give them space to express themselves and validate their feelings, even if you don’t have all the answers.

Keep it Honest but Age-Appropriate

It’s OK to tell children the truth: Violence in schools is rare and adults are working hard to keep them safe. Emphasize their teachers, school staff and community have plans in place, and practicing those plans helps everyone respond better in emergencies.

Avoid graphic details, especially with younger kids, and stick to what they need to know. You might say, “Sometimes schools practice what to do in case a stranger comes in, just like we practice for fires or storms.”

For teens who may be more aware of national headlines, you can acknowledge their concerns while encouraging action, whether it’s staying aware, supporting kindness among peers or participating in civic engagement if they choose.

Support Emotional Well-Being

Children may respond to these conversations with fear, sadness or even anger. Let them know it’s OK to feel that way. Reassure them their safety is your top priority, and remind them of all the adults around them — parents, teachers, counselors — who are there to protect and help.

If your child seems especially anxious, has trouble sleeping or avoids school, it may be helpful to talk with a counselor or mental health professional. Many schools have resources for students and families navigating these difficult topics.

The goal isn’t to take away fear completely, but to offer comfort, facts and a sense of control. In a world that can feel unpredictable, your steady presence and honest conversation can be one of the most powerful sources of security your child has.